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SLEEP TIGHT

Georgie Bateman discusses the importance of sleep for babies and toddlers

Does your child sleep through the night? Are you one of the lucky parents whose baby just “got it” at a few weeks old, or do you go to bed at night dreading the wakeful cry of a child who will need your attention not just once but maybe several times a night, every night?

BABIES AND TODDLERS WHO ARE NOT GETTING ADEQUATE SLEEP MAY NOT MANIFEST ANY OBVIOUS SYMPTOMS IMMEDIATELY BECAUSE, LIKE THEIR EXHAUSTED PARENTS, THEY CAN OPERATE AT A REDUCED CAPACITY FOR MONTHS, EVEN YEARS

It is a commonly held belief that babies will learn to sleep through the night at their own pace, and enough babies do manage this to ensure that for the rest of us, it can seem like an unachievable goal. And the longer it continues, the harder it seems to be to overcome.

The one thing we seem to have lost sight of is the importance of sleep for babies and toddlers

In today’s child-friendly society it seems that the importance of sleep has taken a back seat. When you talk to new parents about their approach to parenting they will tell you how important it is to breastfeed and for how long, they will explain their toddler’s social diary, they will discuss the pros and cons of disposable versus re-usable, and they will go into great detail about the pains of labour - literally, too much information. However, the one thing we seem to have lost sight of is the importance of sleep for babies and toddlers.

Babies up to the age of three months need 15 hours sleep in every 24 and at 2 years of age they still need around 13 -14 hours

And yet, according to Dr Richard Ferber, babies up to the age of three months need 15 hours sleep in every 24 and at 2 years of age they still need around 13-14 hours. A newborn spends most of his life asleep, waking only to feed. This is because the brain assimilates all the information gained during the course of the day whilst the body is at rest. Just pause to think for a moment how many new experiences a baby will undergo during the course of a day, a month, a year. All this needs to be evaluated against what has already been learnt in order to create a developing picture of the world and the baby’s place in it. And the fact is that some babies need to be taught how to sleep properly. If allowed, they will develop bad habits that can prevent themfrom falling asleep and staying asleep, resulting in a plethora of related problems.

We do not simply fall asleep and stay deeply asleep throughout the night. We move through different levels from deep sleep (when it takes a loud noise or catastrophic event to wake us), to periods when we are more aware of goings on in our surroundings. To use a more technical explanation, this undulation is caused by our transition between REM and non-REM sleep. Non-REM sleep is when the information-processing takes place, but a baby who is waking every couple of hours is not getting the opportunity to get down to that level before being dragged awake again.

Babies and toddlers who are not getting adequate sleep may not manifest any obvious symptoms immediately because, like their exhausted parents, they can operate at a reduced capacity for months, even years.

Some babies need to be taught how to sleep properly

However, a sleep-deprived baby or child will not have the attention span of which he is capable and in the worst cases will be labelled as Attention Deficit; he will not be able to interact socially because he will not have the patience to state his case and will resort to hitting; he will not be able to develop relationships because he won’t have the tolerance to deal with other toddlers; he will become a loner simply because it is easier than the alternative; he will not eat properly because he can’t be bothered; he won’t develop mentally because he won’t be learning through play; and he won’t develop physically because he won’t be spending sufficient time asleep. This is a very worst case scenario, but it behoves us to take steps to ensure that it doesn’t happen in our own family.

Strategies for sleep

It helps to be aware of the pitfalls from the very beginning and to implement a routine that can be built upon as your baby gets older. From the very first day, try to emphasise the natural Circadian cycle of the body - the internal body clock which enables us to tell night from day. Make sure the night feeds take place in the darkened nursery with a minimum of noise and interaction between you and your baby, and that daytime feeds take place downstairs with the normal busyness of the household around.

Remember that in a baby’s mind, if you have left the room you have left his life forever. Of course he will scream!

Your baby should always be put down awake so that he is aware of where he is. Tempting though it is to feed your baby until he sleeps, then wind him terribly gently over your shoulder before placing him carefully in the cot, the reality is that the little air bubble you failed to dislodge will become genuinely painful wind which will cause him to open his eyes and wonder immediately where the loving arms of his parent have gone - remember that in a baby’s mind, if you have left the room you have left his life forever. Of course he will scream!

It doesn’t need to be complicated, it just needs to be consistent - the simpler it is, the easier it is to transfer to granny’s house, a holiday cottage or a friend’s sleepover

Most of us, babies included, need about an hour to wind down before we are relaxed enough to fall asleep, so try to make this a peaceful hour during which the bedtime routine unfolds - upstairs for a bath, maybe a gentle massage, a calm breast or bottle feed, a fairly vigorous winding to rouse him sufficiently to be able to put him into his cot awake, say “goodnight” and withdraw. As your baby gets older, you can incorporate a bedtime story - daddies are particularly good at this part of the routine, and can leave you free to concentrate on your second baby in due course! It doesn’t need to be complicated, it just needs to be consistent. In fact, the simpler it is, the easier it is to transfer to granny’s house, a holiday cottage or a friend’s sleepover.

 

After supper don’t let your toddler watch television or your schoolchild play computer games. The light emitted from monitors or screens is similar to that used to counteract Seasonally Affected Disorders and will trick your child’s brain into thinking it is the middle of the day, thus increasing his energy levels and making it harder to get to sleep.

Sometimes you will find that your child, a hitherto brilliant sleeper, has come unstuck and either can’t get to sleep or will wake in the middle of the night and be unable to get back to sleep. This is often a manifestation of worry, which can be more easily resolved with an older, articulate child than a younger one. Take some time to think about lifestyle changes - a new house, a new school, public exams - and talk things through. Sometimes children need “permission” to be worried and if you can reduce their mountainous fears to molehills you will be teaching them a valuable lesson in stress management.

If you make the time to take their fears seriously you will also be keeping the lines of communication open throughout their childhood

Younger children may not be able to articulate their fears and as a parent you may not want to introduce a fear to them. “Are you worried about your new school?” may elicit the answer “Well, I wasn’t until now . . . “ So you can talk around the subject in a positive manner, which they can contradict. Asking your four year-old, “It will be fun to meet new friends and have a new uniform, won’t it?” may give you the answer “Yes, but I’m going to miss my best friend and my new skirt has a very stiff button I can’t undo.” I dare you to laugh, just recall your first day at school! Talking it through may not be enough, however, and then you need to go back to basics. Look at the bedtime routine, change it a little, make more of a fuss. Place a little lavender sachet under their pillow, or a few drops of lavender oil in their bath - again, you are taking their fears seriously and doing something positive about it which will actually work.

Massage really helps too; get your child to lie on their tummy and gently knead their shoulders and neck with your thumbs. Touch is a very primitive way of expressing love and concern. Whatever works for you and your child, if you make the time to take their fears seriously you will also be keeping the lines of communication open throughout their childhood.

As the importance of sleep is beginning to be recognised, there are more and more resources to which sleep-deprived families can turn. Some of them are listed below, but do not allow sleepdeprivation to become a norm in your household - it does not need to be, and you will all be the happier for facing up to it and resolving it together.

Georgie Bateman teaches the only sleep training course currently available to babycare professionals at Reading University through MNT training and also runs Sleep Training Workshops for parents. Since 2001, she has managed Night Nannies in Hampshire and Wiltshire and currently has a team of around fifty professionals who encourage babies and toddlers to sleep through the night.

LINKS

Helpful books include: The Baby Whisperer by Tracey Hogg Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems by Richard Ferber

Agencies: Night Nannies will send a professional to come overnight and help resolve sleep problems: www.nightnannies.com or phone 0207 731 6168 to find your nearest agency

Millpond will talk you through your problems over the phone and offer ongoing advice: www.mill-pond.co.uk

Cry-sis is a charity helpline where someone will listen to your problems and offer advice over the phone: www.cry-sis.org.uk or phone: 08451 228 669